Happy First Birthday Tums!

It’s so crazy to think it’s already been a whole year since Tums was born. I literally feel like the last year just zoomed by. I guess when you’re worrying about staying on top of clothes that fit them month to month it’s easy to lose track of time — which I feel like the 3-6 month clothes almost didn’t even happen!

I always say this but being a mother was never in my life plans, like at all. I didn’t like kids, I thought they were super unpredictable and they kind of scared me to be honest. I had no idea how to care for a baby, or change a diaper, or make a bottle, or swaddle a baby or  anything. The nurses had to teach me how to change her diaper while I was in the hospital!

I wish I could remember what that first week or first day alone with her was like… but everything is a blur once postpartum depression had kicked in.

I always wanted to write about my birth story because you only hear bad and negative things about being induced whereas I had a wonderful experience. I know everyone is different and everyone’s experiences are different but I just want to put out there that not every story of being induced is a bad one! But I feel like now is not the time or place for that.

Instead I’ll talk about the things I learned in the last year.

  •  Newborns sleep for two hours at a time, usually. Sometimes more, sometimes less but it’s like this never ending pattern of them sleeping for two hours, waking up to feed, then going back to sleep. I remember trying to wake her up cause I wanted to play or talk and she would NOT wake up!
  •  Now that she’s a toddler, I can’t even sneak off the bed to make her another bottle without her shooting up and looking for me lmao. Man.
  • Tums was “small” when she was born at 5 pounds. She would drown in NB and 0-3 clothes but she grew fast! I’m not sure if she just got really tall because she’s not as chubby as my friends babies… and she doesn’t weigh nearly as much as theirs do but she is wearing 18 month clothes since she was about 10 months old. So I’m confused; babies grow weird.
  •  No matter how hard you try, you can’t prevent your child from getting sick. It sucks. But it’s true. I’m not saying don’t take precautions, I’m just saying if they do end up sick, don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t do anything wrong.
  •  One day they won’t know how to crawl and literally the next day they will, it’s freakin weird. Tums started off only being able to crawl when in distress. It took her forever to figure out how to crawl without being in a panic! Then one day, she just knew how to crawl.
  •  After they’re done with crawling they’ll take every single chance they can get to stand up. On the bed, on you, on their toys; Tums likes to use my hair as something to grab when she tries to stand on the bed. It’s 100% annoying.
  •  They don’t sleep better through the night the older they get. Or maybe it’s just Tums? She can only sleep at night if she’s being held or cuddled. She doesn’t like falling asleep if I’m not holding her and she doesn’t know how to self soothe. Downside to co-sleeping.
  •  If you can prevent it, do not co-sleep. For your sanity. Seriously.
  •  Tums wants to play with everything I’m using, which makes working on my blogs hard as hell. And it doesn’t matter if I swap the laptop for the phone. Whatever I’m touching, she wants to play with. Oof.

Being a mother is challenging for me because I never planned my life around it. Or ever entertained the idea of it. So to be  a mother is seriously a life change for me. And yes I miss my old life A LOT. But being a mother is also the most fun and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Well maybe not THE MOST rewarding thing, but it’s pretty up there!

Seeing Tums smile when she wakes up and sees me is such an amazing feel or seeing her get super excited when I greet her when her and her daddy come home is seriously the best. Just knowing she’s happy to see me or be around me is an awesome feeling.

I know time will only zoom by faster from here on out and I’m not ready for it, at all. I want to hold on to my little girl as much as I can.

Tums;

You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You gave me a mostly easy pregnancy and a super easy labor experience. You’re mostly the calm to my storm. You always make sure I’m okay, even if you’re sleeping. You’re such a happy and silly baby. You laugh about everything, even if you’re crying. You’re so fun to be around and to play with.

I hope you stay happy. I hope you stay curious. I hope you stay sassy.

We love you so much Tums, and we’re so happy you’re here.

Happy Birthday baby girl, next year we’ll celebrate even bigger, promise.

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